Arnaud Boyer, April 30 2020

5 Perfect Date Spots In Montreal (Love Guaranteed!!!)

As self-isolation hurts all our relationships, I thought about the lonely guys out there. Raging for an ounce of affection from a fellow human. You may see this as another hurdle in your quest for love, but I see it differently. Think about it! The second we’ll be able to go out and meet people again, girls (or guys) will use any excuse to go outside and socialize. Soon, you’ll be able to have dates with people out of your league.

Getting a date will be easy, making her (or him) fall in love with you on the first date will be hard. I can’t do anything about your social anxiety or lack of charisma. What I can do is give you the best spots to go on your first date. 

Note: This is some powerful information. You should not use it with evil intentions. Don’t use these spots if you don’t intend to build a loving relationship.

Here are some of my favorite’s spots in Montreal.

Your mother’s basement (even if you don’t live with her)

This might be the perfect first date. You invite her over to watch a movie without telling her it’s your mom’s house. 

This idea is great for a few reasons: 

1) It shows you're close with your mom 

2)It’s obvious you’re not scared of commitment 

3) She’ll notice you’re smart with money by not wasting cash on her

4) You’ll know from the start what your mom thinks about her

Note: Make sure your mom buys snacks before the date

Cinéma l’amour

Love is literally in the name, need I say more?This is a Montreal staple! This romantic theatre situated on St-Laurent has been around since the 1920s. With a neo-noir movie catalogue, this independent theatre will show your date how sophisticated you are. If you’re cheap, couples get free entry on Monday’s and Thursday’s. Right now, «The Innocence of Youth 9» is playing, I highly recommend catching up on the first eight to understand the plot. 

A Church or Temple

Faith is hot, that is a fact. Some losers might say that bringing a stranger to your local church or temple might be weird or make them uncomfortable. MALARKEY!!! We’re looking for love, not a faithless skank. During the date, make sure to promote your faith and push for a conversion. This will show her that you are a leader and a true alpha. You’ll get bonus points if you’re in a fringe cult.

A Funeral 

Do you know what floods the basement? A sensitive and vulnerable man! A funeral is a perfect place to display that side of you without being mocked. I got this amazing idea from the movie Wedding Crashers. Right now, with our boy Covid, the funeral business is booming. You don’t need a dead relative. Nobody will question your presence at a funeral. Show up and say you are a cousin or friend. It is a very cost effective date, you’ll get free food and drinks. You may imagine a few people feeling uncomfortable in this setting. You’re probably right, but anxiety will push your date to open up to you. If you want to score bonus points, tell her to dress casually. This will crank up her anxiety even more at the funeral.

The Notre Dame des Neiges cemetery is very scenic!

A Nightclub

A club might seem like a bad idea for a first date but think about it. You’re ugly? She won’t see you in the dark lighting! You’re boring? She won’t hear you with the blasting music! It’s the perfect spot to showcase your amazing dance moves.I suggest APT. 200 with cheap drinks, a room with a bed, a unique music scene and a high chance of getting in, this is the perfect spot. 

I want to make something clear. This is some very powerful insider information. I need your word that you will only use it with pure intentions.

«Fortune favors the bold»

Have fun on your love quest and God bless

Written by

Arnaud Boyer


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