WHAT TO DO

Arnaud Boyer, April 24 2020

How to become an Uber Eat expert

As good millennials, eating out is a big part of our life. The amount of money we spend every month on restaurants and bars doesn’t make sense. You may think we’ll be slowing down since most places are closed. Fuck no! We’re doubling down and using that sweet government money to support local businesses.  

Ordering food sounds pretty simple, right? WRONG! It’s an art form and a science. Thankfully for your sake, I’m here to teach you a few things that will undeniably enhance your culinary experience. 

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STEAM

I’m usually a fan of moisture but in this case, I hate it. When you put a lid on something hot, steam will be created inside the container. This steam will turn anything crispy into a mushy mess. Foods like fries, fried chicken, onion rings or pies will become saggy and unappetizing. Which means you shouldn’t order these types of food. Your back up solution would be to put them in a really hot oven for a few minutes but it’s not the same.

TEMPERATURE 

I may be nitpicking, but I like my food hot not lukewarm.

«But Sir, couldn’t you just microwave the food when you get it»

Yes, but not all food can be reheated. If you ever tried microwaving a steak you know exactly what I’m thinking about. Make sure the food your ordering will arrive hot by ordering from a place nearby. 

PIZZA

I swear to God if any of you idiot keep saying that Domino’s is a good pizza place I’ll take away your voting rights. Pizza is serious business, probably the most loved dish in the world. Simple yet complex, Pizza is the only reason we still tolerant Italians.

There are so many options for Pizza, it can get confusing. 

For all my Montrealer’s consider these options: Pizza St-Viateur, BEVO Bar or any other Italian restaurant with a wood fire oven should do the trick. 

For the plebs who want something greasy and cheap consider double pizza (not be confused with the vile Pizza Pizza). They are what I would call “good bad pizza” for a decent price.

GOOD OPTIONS

After all this, you might ask what can you order? Keep it simple. Chinese and Indian food are pretty much perfect for delivery since they are easily reheatable and aren’t big on textures. Sandwiches such as Burgers, smoke meats and shawarma are great options with the only risk of soggy bread which doesn’t usually happen.

If you’re trying to be healthy, Mandy's does the job pretty well. Salads aren’t affected by the negatives of  delivery making them a good option.  

With all of this information, you should be able to get the most out of your delivered dinner. Please keep in mind that tipping your delivery boy is the norm and will usually result in you getting your food faster.

I don’t want to start drama but La Presse pretty much copied my idea. I know they are going out of business, so I’ll be the bigger men and link their article. 

https://www.lapresse.ca/gourmand/restaurants/202003/22/01-5265920-de-bonnes-adresses-pour-un-menu-a-emporter.php 

Written by

Arnaud Boyer

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